learning who my REAL family is

Written on Friday July 15, 2011 @ 1:54pm (The internet is down again… go figure!)

So, my brother has decided to completely shut me out, because of my relationship with my mom. (Which has absolutely nothing to do with him!) I can’t lie, and say it doesn’t hurt me, especially because I haven’t done anything to him. But I realize that I cannot dwell on it, or let it bring me down. I have a feeling that my family thinks that I chose Jason’s family over them, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. What really happened, is when Jason’s family came into my ilfe, I realized what a real family is all about. I have done everything humanly possible to try to make my family a part of my life, and my children’s lives. But the minute I started dating Jason, they put this huge wall up. It really hurts me, because I honestly feel like I have not done anything wrong.

After a lot of thinking, and soul searching, I have come to this conclusion:
“Family members” do not use withholding their love as a weapon.
A “mother” does not leave her children.
A “grandmother” does not neglect her grandchildren.
A “sister,” upon hearing that her younger sister is pregnant, does not tell her to have an abortion.
A “brother” does not go to other people to build up an “army” against his sister, just because he does not like the way she deals with things.

I found this quote online today, and it is so very true.
“Family isn’t about whose blood you have, it’s about who you care about.”
I know who my real family is.

As sad as it is for me to accept, I do not belong in that “family” anymore. And I need to start thinking about the family that is most important to me. That is the family who lives under my roof with me. It’s the family I interact with day in, and day out. It’s the family who loves me unconditionally, and the family I also love unconditionally. That family is Jason, Ally, and Evan. Instead of cursing God for the way that my other “family” treats me, I need to thank him for the beautiful husband (soon to be, anyway) and children he has blessed me with.

I will end this now, so I can go play with my sweet 8 month old son.